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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-14, 6:14 am

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-14, 6:14 am

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-14, 6:15 am

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-14, 6:16 am

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Post  Sid MCFC on 2020-07-14, 10:37 am

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She dos’nt look too happy with Skegness.
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Post  Sid MCFC on 2020-07-24, 10:39 am

I had a prostrate examination yesterday.  The Doctor said take your clothes off and lie on the bed face down. 

I asked him where I should put my trousers and he said on the chair next to mine.  Neutral
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Post  Admin on 2020-07-25, 3:10 am

Sid MCFC wrote:I had a prostrate examination yesterday.  The Doctor said take your clothes off and lie on the bed face down. 

I asked him where I should put my trousers and he said on the chair next to mine.  Neutral
I have heard that that sort of thing goes on in big cities like Manchester. Not sure I could live there with all that gayness.  hi
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Post  Black Cat Kiwi on 2020-07-25, 4:31 am

Admin wrote:
Sid MCFC wrote:I had a prostrate examination yesterday.  The Doctor said take your clothes off and lie on the bed face down. 

I asked him where I should put my trousers and he said on the chair next to mine.  Neutral
I have heard that that sort of thing goes on in big cities like Manchester. Not sure I could live there with all that gayness.  hi
rof

I'll miss the humor  Crying or Very sad

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Post  Sid MCFC on 2020-07-25, 9:38 am

Admin wrote:
Sid MCFC wrote:I had a prostrate examination yesterday.  The Doctor said take your clothes off and lie on the bed face down. 

I asked him where I should put my trousers and he said on the chair next to mine.  Neutral
I have heard that that sort of thing goes on in big cities like Manchester. Not sure I could live there with all that gayness.  hi
Do you know I think you might be right Syd.

During the examination the Doctor said. “Don’t worry it’s not uncommon to get an erection during this procedure.”

I said “I haven’t got one.”  And he replied, “No but I have.”
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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-25, 5:19 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-25, 5:23 pm

Guy owns an antique shop but it’s not doing too much trade, so he buys a leg of lamb and puts it in the shop window as Nelson's leg. An American guy comes in and buys it to take back to the states.
The shop owner buys a pair of sheep’s eyes, puts one in the window as Nelson's eye.

The same bloke comes in and buys it to take back to the states.
The shop owner buys a bag of potatoes, and the American sees two on the counter. Don’t tell me . . . . they are Nelson's ?
No said the shop owner, they are King Edwards.
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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-25, 5:24 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-25, 5:25 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-25, 5:26 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 1:41 pm

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for £500 - if not cured get back £1,000."
Doctor "Young" who was positive that this old geezer didn't know anything about medicine, thought that this would be a great opportunity to get £1,000 so he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened.
Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth . . . . can you please help me?
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Aaagh . . . . this is petrol !"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations . . . . you've got your taste back. That will be £500."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days to try to recover his money.
Dr Young: "I have lost my memory . . . . I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't . . . . that's petrol"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations . . . . you've got your memory back. That will be £500."
Dr. Young (after having lost £1000) leaves angrily and comes back after a few more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak, and I can hardly see"
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so here's your £1000 back."
Dr. Young: "But this is only £500"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations . . . . you've got your vision back. That will be £500."

Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer"
Wink
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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 1:47 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 1:51 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 1:53 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 1:53 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 1:54 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 1:58 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 2:00 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 2:00 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 2:37 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-07-27, 2:38 pm

I suppose I’m in the minority but I always lick the knife when I’m done.

None of the other surgeons seem to do it.
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