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Keeping spirits up ! - Page 14 Empty2020-06-30, 5:38 pm by Gordon Armstrong


Keeping spirits up !

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-06-25, 1:08 pm

Paddy and Seamus are in a boarding house in London writing letters home. Paddy stops writing and says... "Hey, Seamus, how do you spell "dattle"?
"Jaysus, sure I've never even heard that word before, how would ya use it in a sentence?"
"I said...Dear Ma, please send a woolly jumper dattle fit me"
Seamus just about pisses himself laughing and when he finally calms down he says... "It's idiots like you that get the Irish a bad name....there's no such word as dattle, ya feckin gobshite...the word that ye want is ...wattle."
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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-06-25, 1:11 pm

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-06-29, 10:18 am

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-06-29, 10:20 am

I'm going to the local transvestite night later.


There are no rules . . . . we just eat, drink and be Mary Smile
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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-06-29, 10:21 am

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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-06-29, 10:24 am

I've just released my own fragrance. . . . . but nobody on this bus seems to like it !
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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-06-29, 10:25 am

Three years ago my doctor told me that I was going deaf.

I haven't heard from him since !
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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-06-29, 10:27 am

I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch, but a friend was rushed to hospital to have a dangerous

mole removed from his penis . . . . he won't be shagging one of those again !
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Post  Vincemac on 2020-06-29, 1:57 pm

Back in the sixties Liverpool FC approached the Actor Yul Bryner to advertise a brand of cologne for them, but he turned them down.....because as we all know, Yul never wore cologne!
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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-06-29, 7:49 pm

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Post  Sid MCFC on 2020-06-30, 12:35 pm

I was talking to a Chinese drug addict the other day.

He said “Have you seen my cocaine?”

I said “ Not since I last watched Zulu”
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Post  cyprussyd on 2020-06-30, 2:53 pm

Sid MCFC wrote:I was talking to a Chinese drug addict the other day.

He said “Have you seen my cocaine?”

I said “ Not since I last watched Zulu”
now that made me laugh, Michael Cane is one of my heroins

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Post  Sid MCFC on 2020-06-30, 3:32 pm

cyprussyd wrote:
Sid MCFC wrote:I was talking to a Chinese drug addict the other day.

He said “Have you seen my cocaine?”

I said “ Not since I last watched Zulu”
now that made me laugh, Michael Cane is one of my heroins
Oi, stop upstaging me.  Wink
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Post  Gordon Armstrong on 2020-06-30, 5:38 pm

A boy complains to his father . . . .
"You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks 'cos it would impress the girls at the pool, but you forgot to mention one thing !"
Father: "Really, what ?"
Boy: "That the potato should go in the front." 
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