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EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

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EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

Post  cyprussyd on 2017-02-08, 2:01 pm

EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit SUNDERLAND in the early hours, its epicentre was in Hylton Castle. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "What the f**k".
The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
The emergency services reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Sunderland. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 3 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.


HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Nike or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
50p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£4 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£10 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
***Breaking news***
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you from?' they asked, "Town End Farm" said the girl, "what the f**k's it gotta do wi yea like?"
MORE NEWS WILL PROBABLY BE KEPT QUIET.

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Re: EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

Post  canary-dave on 2017-02-08, 2:45 pm

ten ten ten

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Re: EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

Post  Black Cat Kiwi on 2017-02-09, 8:17 am

lol!

Ps. Did you know a heavy truck passing by is the same as 4.4

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Re: EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

Post  sunderpitt on 2017-02-09, 2:12 pm

cyprussyd wrote:EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit SUNDERLAND in the early hours, its epicentre was in Hylton Castle. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "What the f**k".
The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
The emergency services reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Sunderland. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 3 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.


HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Nike or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
50p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£4 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£10 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
***Breaking news***
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you from?' they asked, "Town End Farm" said the girl, "what the f**k's it gotta do wi yea like?"
MORE NEWS WILL PROBABLY BE KEPT QUIET.
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sunderpitt
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Posts : 7386
Join date : 2012-08-25

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Re: EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

Post  sunderpitt on 2017-02-09, 2:13 pm

cyprussyd wrote:EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit SUNDERLAND in the early hours, its epicentre was in Hylton Castle. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "What the f**k".
The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
The emergency services reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Sunderland. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 3 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.


HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Nike or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
50p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£4 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£10 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
***Breaking news***
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you from?' they asked, "Town End Farm" said the girl, "what the f**k's it gotta do wi yea like?"
MORE NEWS WILL PROBABLY BE KEPT QUIET.

Chavs are salt of the earth....snob


Last edited by sunderpitt on 2017-02-09, 3:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

Post  Vincemac on 2017-02-09, 2:34 pm

cyprussyd wrote:EARTHQUAKE IN SUNDERLAND

An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit SUNDERLAND in the early hours, its epicentre was in Hylton Castle. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "What the f**k".
The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
The emergency services reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Sunderland. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 3 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.


HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Nike or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
50p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£4 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£10 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
***Breaking news***
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you from?' they asked, "Town End Farm" said the girl, "what the f**k's it gotta do wi yea like?"
MORE NEWS WILL PROBABLY BE KEPT QUIET.
Ohh dear I hope everyone's ok 
Is the stadia effected
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